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In this episode, I share what it looked like for me to show up even when I was having a really hard day. I talk about being honest with myself, listening to my intuition, what came up in therapy, and how volunteering helped me get out of my own head. If you’ve been in a season where things feel heavy, this one is for you.
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- Read the full transcript: https://abundant-at-the-top.simplecast.com/episodes/showing-up-when-youre-not-okay
Welcome to the Abundant At The Top podcast,
I'm Brittany Fox your host!
Have you ever
had just one of those days that you're not feeling it
you're having a bad day but you got somewhere to go
this was me on Tuesday I had a women's networking
event to go to it's a group I'm a part of
several of the ladies
from my community were gonna be there and I love
seeing them and I knew they would uplift me but
the question do I show up and how do I show up
pops into your head especially
as someone who is a leader who's a high achiever
who is leading the charge how do you show up
and in the personal development space you often
hear about changing your state
the language that you use the words that you say
and we all know it's true it creates our reality
when do we show up and be
vulnerable and say what is actually happening
this is the thoughts that I was
contemplating in my head before I showed up at this group
and I just knew I couldn't put a mask on I knew that this was one of those days that
things are really hard
and I can't pretend like everything is just peachy
Monday was a really hard day for me personally
and I was still going through all the raw emotions
one thing I that often happens
I believe that I've seen and conditioned myself even
is to not feel the emotions
when going through a hard time
just skipping right to the reframing
to the change of state
but what I've Learned
is we have to sometimes just feel the raw emotions
and let them be okay and well
I still went to this event
which I always say get in the room
get in the room ladies it changes everything
it really does so I got in the room but I showed up as
who I was at that moment I showed up with my stuff
and it's not that you show up and you vomit all over people and tell them all your stuff right but
when people
say how are you and they know you and you can't hide it
you open up a bit right and depends
on where you are and so I
ended up sharing with someone a little bit about
what was going on in the challenge
and we had the conversation and I still was just like
ugh like the day the day like this is just not it
and the theme was something major is about to happen
we had this speaker come in and it was
amazing conversation one of the topics we talked
about actually and this is a thought that I've really been contemplating
was as high achievers as women in business
how do we really lean into our feminine
through a leadership perspective
not just I think sometimes
especially me I think of the feminine as oh well
then I need to be
all spiritual LED I need to be a yoga instructor
and that's what it looks like and though that is it
and but how do we balance that in business
and who are the women who have done this
and I had this conversation
with a friend and we had a really hard time
coming up with the example
of who's actually truly done this so if you know someone
send them to me
I want to find these women out there because I know they're out there they're doing their stuff
but one of the breakthroughs
through that conversation
that we kept talking about was the feminine
leadership often looks like listening to our intuition
listening to our intuition of that inner knowing
of the decision
which it's hard to explain sometimes especially
even if you're a high achiever
and you're factual and you're logical and you look at the data points
but sometimes
we just have intuition that we need to follow
and I feel like that's what I did when I showed up my intuition
said Britney don't change your state
don't act like you have it all together today
and just show up as your raw authentic self
and that's what I did and I was able to have different type of conversations
but I still left there and I was just like ugh
you know still that day still that bad day
and I ended up actually having
a therapy session right after that event
I was really excited about it because I thought
this is it
she's finally going to understand
what is going on in my life I have so much information to share with her
she's gonna get it and often times we go to
therapy and we think we're gonna be validated
or that they're going to agree with
something that's going on in our life and why it's so challenging
and of course there are yes that's happening
and you get the reframes you get the tools
you get all the things that come through therapy
and or coaching
well this is therapy and I think it's a little bit different of a style
right
because you're dealing and you go back so much of
why is that bothering
you why and let's really keep going through the layers
and that's what ended up happening was I had
the awareness of what was happening in a
specific situation it was very aware to me
but as I peeled back the layers and became aware
of what's actually going on on a deeper level
what happened was I had seen this potential
I see this opportunity I know things can be better
I know if it just looked like this
then this would be great
but the fact was I was arguing with reality
I was arguing with my current situation
well yes the potential is there
well yes things could look better
that part was out of my control
because I was doing everything
I knew I could do in the situation
what I believed
but come to find out there was even more that I could be doing
and it comes back to focusing on what we can control
and becoming aware so I became aware
of one that I was arguing with reality
that I couldn't see past
also my pain in this situation
and I couldn't
get to the place of seeking to understand
one of the golden rules
to really understand a situation to understand
what's happening in a relationship or with
another person is to seek to understand first
and sometimes we think we're doing that
but we're doing it through the lens of our own pain
that's what I was doing I couldn't see past my own pain
that I sought to understood on
with the lens of my pain still there
but when you can get past
the pain that you're experiencing
and really seek to understand well
why did they do that what's going on on a deeper
level and we can really ask those questions we can get
another awareness of what's happening and why
maybe that action was taken
or why that situation keeps coming up again
when we really seek to understand
that's what happened to me I became aware
and I sought to understand
that was so huge for me and I
I took the day and I was really processing
these different awarenesses that I was having and
understanding and I got to a place where I was even
able to have compassion in the situation
often times
we want things as black and white is a yes or no is this right or is this wrong
but
when we can peel back the layers and understand that
the human experience is complex
that there's so many layers and there's so many things
the other thing I
realized through that when I talked about the well
why is it that if I'm doing everything
I can why am I still being triggered
and when I realized that I still had things out
and I don't like using that word either
right like I mean we hear it everywhere
it's like the TikTok
sensation of I'm triggered I'm triggered
and also looking at okay well maybe
why is it still bothering me why am I still reacting
this way
and what do I need to continue to work on with myself
that was something else that came to me that I still have work to do
because while I can become once you become aware
and you seek to understand and you might understand
why that person is behaving a certain way
you're able to make decisions from a more clear place
but when you still have your reactions coming up
your decision making
of making a decision is not gonna be as clear
so I knew that once I got this clear
understanding of what was happening in the situation
I was able to make a better decision
because before I was looking at making
very different decisions
when I was seeing through the lens of my pain
I was gonna make different choices
but once I really saw to understood and I
had that level of awareness of what was going on
I was able to make different decisions
okay so I have this therapy session
I'm processing it all day I'm thinking about it
and I also
that morning had had a conversation I started recently
volunteering at the local animal shelter and my Luna
back here she was a rescue pup
she was dropped off at a park near my house
and a total manifestation story I'll tell that for
another day cause I wanted a black female rescue dog and then she showed up in my life five minutes later
she's such a sign to me of one
the power of manifesting and the the thoughts
that we think be careful because it might just
become a reality quicker than you think
and two uh she reminded me of wanting to volunteer
again because when I first started
my career and I graduated college
I actually worked at a non profit organization and
the way I grew up we were always giving to other people and volunteering
and I haven't done that in a while
so I started volunteering at the local animal shelter
Miami Dade Animal Services
and I just became so aware of the problem of
how many dogs it's overpopulated and my friend
she told me she's like you need to stop going you're gonna be depressed and I
just started doing this and I said yes but
you know what am I gonna do about it I've already
seen this I've already seen this problem
I can't unsee what I've seen
so I know that I can contribute
and what I love about when I go there
is that I have to be so present
this is such a beautiful thing for me especially
when you're going through a hard season
and you're so focused on
what is going on in your life and even if you're not going through a hard season when you're so focused on self
when we do something like volunteer
it puts us in a different state
but what I love about volunteering this specifically
is that you get there in
this specific place and I think a lot of them are like this the animal shelters
is that it's chaotic there's a lot of noise
there's a lot of like barking
and it's just it's chaotic
you have dogs that you're walking
you have to be hyper vigilant
that they're safe that they don't get in a dog fight
that they don't bite you like there's so many things
but when you get them out to say their playpen
or you're on the walk with them you have 10 15
minutes to bring this dog
joy and love and that's all it's
definitely gonna get that day
and who knows the next time it's going to be walked
the next time it's going to be walked
is the moment that someone else decides to show up
the moment that someone else
decides it only takes one to make a change
that's what I realized is I often
time when I think about these problems
in the world that I get overwhelmed
because as a high achiever I wanna solve them and
just make a big impact
but sometimes making a big impact
starts with one decision starts with one small action
that's what I love about
volunteering is that I know that
I'm gonna bring joy to one dog that day to one
human that I'm gonna interact with at that shelter
that day that I'm gonna volunteer with
and it just starts with one
and sometimes we can overcomplicate things but I love
what it does for me it makes me feel fulfilled
it also just makes me so present and you realize that
while we do have real problems
we do have real challenges
in our life that there's also other
challenges in the world that are going on
what I'd encourage you this week is to
get in the room whatever
room that is if you're going through a hard day
still show up if you are
been wanting to volunteer
and give I mean the holiday season
people think about that a lot but
start now and change happens with one person
that's it for this episode of abundance at the top
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